Hello, everybody,
We are excited to announce that we have redesigned a new and better FINDAMentor.com where you can find a mentor to guide you in over 2000 categories of life, including Career. Education, difficult life process or spirituality. Are you struggling? Do you want to be better at your job, or understand more about your education process? Maybe you want to know more about your spirituality. Or you’re struggling with changing careers. We can help. Join FindAMentor, or FAM, as we call it.
Do you have a desire to pass on your knowledge and help others? You can also pay it forward. If you’re an expert in something, please join our help each other community and mentor someone in your area of expertise.
We need mentors. The world needs mentors. The majority of mentoring organizations attract about one mentor for every 5-10 mentees. At FAM, you can mentor more than one person at a time using our masterminding group format.
Please take a moment to check us out. FINDAMentor.com. It’s a completely free service. People need help. Maybe once you mentor a couple people you can turn it into a coaching relationship and charge a fee.
For right now though, please reach out to get the support you need or help someone else. Thank you.
p.s. People are wondering how to find a successful mentor, or how to seek mentorship. We suggest using mastermind groups to help relieve the pressure of not being able to find a mentor at first. Be a mentor and help more than one mentee using masterminding.

Hello mentees. Thank you so much for being a member of our help each other community and committing to your own personal growth. Its great to see you taking responsibility for you. Which is key to being successful in any aspect of life. So good job. Keep doing it. Not everyone takes full responsibility for themselves. My name’s Mike Garska. The founder of FindAMentor – Fam as we like to call it. We built this site because we can help you find support and there are allot of people looking for it, just like you. Even if you don’t find a mentor here, our guidance will help you find one somewhere else. You might find a mentor on-line at a different site, listed in our resources. Do a mentor search here first though. In the meantime, I can mentor you through videos like this and through our emails and free training programs, that we offer from time to time. Now, Today I’m going to give you three tips to help you with being successful in any aspect of life. These are basics and you may have heard them before, ——lets see. Ill also give a couple tips how to get the most from your membership in our community. First, A little about me. I’ve been self employed for over 40 years now. My first venture was building a cellular phone business form the trunk of my car to three stores and 3 million in annual sales. We often had 2 of the top 5 performing stores in the country. I sold that business after 9!years, took a year off and travelled a bit. We took the kids out of school and went through Europe and Africa for a few months. Then I started consulting, training and coaching in leadership, communications and sales/profit growth. I’ve been specializing in helping family businesses for over 20 years now. So, ill share quick 10-15 minute mentor sessions like this one, that you may find helpful. Some concepts you’ll have already heard. Its still good to get reminders sometimes. so watch them and leave comments. Let me ask you, do you want to know what thought patterns are holding you back and which ones are propelling you forward. Do you want to know how to find the right thought and emotional processes for success inside you? Well your in the right place. Mentors can help you find and express them. So can we. Here’s Tip one of 3 for today: Make sure you use many mentors. And you likely are already without necessarily realizing it. Now, I want to expand your perspectives on mentoring and being a mentee, so, lets start that. I see mentoring as a natural process. As a child we might look to an older sibling, cousin or parent and we naturally learn from them and incorporate some of their personality traits into our own. They are our mentors, and we want to be like them in some way, big or small. So, as life evolves for each of us, Teachers, bosses and co-workers can become mentors. Who are some of the mentors you’ve looked up so far your in life, and why. Who has helped mold you into the person you are right now? And —What kind of traits do you want in your next mentor? Now consider this, Some mentors teach us what not to do. As I look back at my family mentors, I learned what to do and what not to do from all of them in some way. Their different actions and reactions to life, I both liked and didn’t like. I chose which traits, I wanted to incorporate into me and which ones I didn’t want. For example: Dad left mom for a much younger women after they had 5 kids. I was 7 when they split. I didn’t want to be like that. And the truth is I only saw my dad about once a year from that time on. So naturally my mom, uncles, my older siblings, and cousins became mentors, each in their own unique little way. My mom taught me the importance of acceptance of differences. She would invite almost anyone into our home for tea or celebrations like Christmas and Easter, whether they were Christian or not. Being understanding and accepting of diversity, has allowed me to grow a very large and interesting network of friends and colleagues, so I’m grateful to my mom for that. My mom and uncles also demonstrated the importance of strong worth ethics and the importance of having fun in life. Balance become important to me along with a strong work ethic. Work hard and play hard. One of my first summer jobs was at my uncle’s creamery, washing cream cans. I was 10 or 11. Another job I had at that young age was picking rocks in farm fields. And helping with fencing. Now, all, of my uncles were alcoholics. My dad was the only male of that generation on both sides of the family, that was not an alcoholic. So, I learned from watching all of them, that I could use substance responsibly, like my dad, and still work hard and party hard. Okay lets move on. At this point in life, you’ve chosen to guide your own learning by searching for a good mentor, or mentors. That’s why you joined here, right? Yes or yes? The first step to being better and growing is to know yourself, where you’re at right now — and where you want to be, or what you want to be. Know yourself and what got you here. What’s working. What isn’t? What do you need to know, or be like, to go to your next level? What does your next mentor need to know or be like? Think about and write it all down. Then, when you meet a mentor, you’ll know quickly if he or she is right for you. Okay tip 2. Jack Canfield says, Author of chicken soup for the soul series, which sold 100’s of millions of copies, says, “Take responsibility for your responses.” Take responsibility for every response you have. This is very important. Your reactions and responses to situations decide your future in so many ways. They affect every interaction –and relationship –you have with another person. Your responses dramatically affect the responses and reactions you get back. From mentors too. Our responses and reactions affect what level of success we reach in any aspect of life. Reactions and responses affect whether we get good service or bad service at a restaurant. Our automatic responses and reactions even affect our health, so keep taking responsibility for them. Now, find your mentor, so he or she can guide you on what to do or how to respond to circumstances and situations. Right. We want to control and regulate our responses, especially in difficult or sensitive situations. Right . Yes.

So, I’m going to suggest you Watch our “Two things you need to know that they never taught us in school” video, it’s about the Human Interaction Process (the HIP). It will help you understand yourself, and why you react and respond the way you do. It will help you have more understanding of others and why they respond the way they do. It will likely influence the way you respond to different situations. Watch and learn about your unique Human Interaction Process. It will help. I promise.

We always want to help you be better so also explore our tools and tips pages here at FAM in the top bar navigation menu. Explore the different types of mentoring. Maybe you want to get a business mentor or need help identifying a mentor. Use the verification forms and questionnaires. Use the mentor session forms too. They’re meant to help and guide you.

I actually suggest as a mentee, print and fill out the mentee questionnaire form for yourself. It will help you find the right mentors because, When you know precisely what you want, its quicker and easier to find it.

It can be like buying a car. Before I buy a car, I test drive a couple, and then I decide exactly what I want, make – model – year. and then I shop. I call a few dealers, I look at private sale, get a few prices. I get suppliers competing. I find the best value price.

If I don’t know the exact cart I want and I go to a dealer, the sales person is going to show me what he or she want to sell the most. He or she may talk into believing its exactly what you want when it might not be. its easier to get caught up in making an emotional bad decision if we’re not clear on what we want.

Using mentors is similar. Prepare. Know what you want in a mentor. Know the traits you’re looking for, the experience they need to have, so you can trust their guidance. Know what you want to learn and why and it will make it easier to decide who’s the right mentor for you as they show up in your life.

And remember, in the end, No one saves themselves. We save each other. We need each other. We are social creatures. When we make the decision to be better, we need support to get better. Its why you’re here and joined our community. You’re looking for support. Yes or yes? So, start searching and learning. Read and watch our blogs and videos. Consider them mentor sessions with me. Explore the different ways to get mentored in the tools and tips.

I advise having at least 4 mentors in every important aspect of life so you can call them and get different perspectives when challenges come up. When you need a quick flash mentoring session, like when you’re facing an immediate challenge and need some advice pronto. Its good you have a few mentors in your network. Don’t pigeonhole your mentoring options.

When I operated my Cell phone business, I had 4 business mentors. One was my accountant. Another owned a welding supply company. Another ran a large paper business. Another was a VP with a cellular network.

I also took coaching programs, went to seminars, sent my staff to seminars and training sessions, and did what I needed to so I could learn to be a good business owner, and so my employee group was better than the competitors. Don’t stop learning. The more perspectives you have, the more choices and options you will see. It all helps us make wiser decisions.

Also, it’s a really good idea to use masterminding groups of 4 or 5 people that have the same goals. They can all be mentees, and it will still work if you’re all active in the field of interest.
You can learn a lot from each others’ mistakes and wins if you meet regularly and talk about things in the right way. Learning curves typically go up very dramatically when we mastermind with 4 or 5 people vs. just two. In the mastermind format, one mentor can guide many and everyone learns much quicker.

Use our group formats wisely. Set up private- 2 person groups – for you and a mentor only in your category of choice. And set up secondary groups that allow more than two members, Having 1 or 2 mentors leading a few mentees is a really good idea too. I’ve witnessed learning curves increase dramatically in groups of 4 or 5. Create your group and invite both mentors and mentees.

Limit the size though. Too big of a group can be difficult to manage —it depends. Don’t expect your mentor to be a miracle worker. They are there to guide you only. If you don’t like what they say, see what others mentors say.

If they all say something you don’t like, then suck it up. Don’t get frustrated or discouraged if things take awhile to get going for you. Sometimes we have to do things we’re don’t really like to, in order to succeed. The number rule for success in any life endeavor, is to go another mile. Never give up. Do whatever it takes.

Okay, so one more tip from me as a mentor today. Tip 3. It’s Based on this quote from Warren Buffett; If you want to be worth 50%^ more than you are right now, Hone your communications skills.”

So, I’ve been teaching communications courses for over 20 years. I’ve studied it closely and expanded my knowledge over that period of time. In my consulting career, we found that the number one thing that employees complain about is weak communications and information flow. Poor communicating. 100 % of the employee surveys conducted by our company showed this as the number one concern. Communication at times is a problem for almost everyone.

So we offer our on-line CONTACT 20-20 course a very special price for FAM members and we have a free introductory training. Check it out. [link to free communications training blog] I know you’ll hear things you haven’t before. Your communication knowledge and ability will expand. I also want you to know that we appreciate you. Thank you for being here and taking responsibility for you. And your growth and the growth of your value to society and friends. Sign up for our daily inspirational email too. We send quotes out every day to keep you inspired and we often will include a training option you can subscribe to. Thanks for being a member of FAM and for watching this video Go have an awesome day. Cheers. See you next time. Watch free mentoring session; The two most important things I learned that they don’t teach us in school. Watch the free communications training mentor session now.

Hello mentors. First of all, Thank you so much for being a member and paying it forward by being a mentor in our community. Please encourage others to do the same. My name is Mike Garska. The founder. We built this site because so many people are looking for support. People want to do and be better – and you can help in your area of expertise. I know that as a community, we help way more people than I can by myself. There are tons of experts out there in so may aspects of life. FAM is a help each other community of many people helping many people. Thank you for supporting it. Now, I see mentoring as a natural process. As a child we might look to an older sibling, cousin or parent and we naturally learn from them and incorporate some of their personality traits into our own. They are our mentors, and we want to be like them in some way, big or small. And sometimes, Some people we can look at and as mentors on what not to do. The mentees at Fam will get exposed to different ways to use mentoring. I want you to be aware of that. Explore them yourself. Take a look at our tools and tips here at FAM. Top bar navigation menu. Explore the different types of mentoring. Use the verification forms if you want to. Use the mentor session forms too. They’re meant to guide you. Be a mentor and find a mentee. Many people are looking for how to find a successful mentor. There are many types of mentoring. When we facilitate corporate mentor programs we talk about common mentoring, peer mentoring, vertical mentoring, cross mentoring. There are times where a quick flash mentoring session is a good idea, like when the mentee is facing an immediate challenge and needs some advice pronto. Read our tools and tips, watch our blog posts and keep growing your own knowledge as well so you can be a better mentor. And know that we encourage having many mentors and using a mastermind group here at FAM. I’m hoping you’ll encourage them to do the same. We mostly make better decisions and do better in genera, l when we understand more and broader perspectives. That’s the idea of mentoring someone. Right. Yes. Please keep in mind that some mentees have unrealistic expectations of a mentor. They expect them to be a miracle worker or sometimes actually want the mentor to do some action item for them. Don’t take it personally. Don’t get frustrated or discouraged. Simply adjust their expectations. Leadership of any kind involves setting and managing expectations. That’s part of your role as a mentor. Lead the mentee towards becoming good or great in the aspect of life they are looking for support in. They need guidance and are wondering how to seek mentorship. Know that we appreciate you. Thank you for helping others. At some point, you may want to investigate coaching and charging for your expertise. If that interests you, watch for our emails where we share training options for coaches or want-to-be coaches. Send us an email and we may be able to point you in the right direction. Sign up for our daily inspirational email too. We send quotes out every day to keep you inspired. Thanks again for your support. Have an awesome day. Cheers.

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So this 12-13 minute communications training mentor session from FindAMentor, is a quick explanation of what process to follow when you have to do a tough talk, difficult or crucial conversation. I’m Mike Garska the founder of FAM.

Why is being really good at communicating so important? Why does Warren Buffet say this? “if want to be worth 50% more than you are right now, hone your communication skills”. In order to move into any leadership position we have to be good at influencing others to do good or great. That’s done with masterful communication technique. And as a leader you’re going to have to do many tough talks. Avoiding them only makes things worse most often. Not doing them effectively has the same result.

It can make life very stressful as a leader, if you can’t navigate a tough conversation on the fly, or even at all, to a win-win outcome. Have you ever cringed and worried about having to do a difficult conversations? What words d o I use? What if they react bad? When is the best time to do it? Is it even worth it? I say it most often is.

What would it be like if you knew exactly what to say when those situations arise? Imagine having the confidence and ability to navigate those situations to the outcome you want? Well, today, I’m going to share 5 things you need to do, to get the outcome you want in any difficult conversation. First, I’ll list them and then go into a little detail of each. They are:

1. Get self aware. Know your human interaction process. Your HIP
2. Plan your talk. Be prepared.
3. When you start your talk, quickly share your experience, and then focus on seeking first to understand the other person, their HIP about the situation, then to be understood. And go next level here; Seek first to validate and then to be validated.
4. Look for common intentions. Focus on them and you’ll find resolve, especially when both people have been validated and are both clear on common intentions.
5. Follow up. Do it again.

Okay so lets go through how to do each one.

1. Get self aware. Know your human interaction process. Your HIP in relation to the experience or situation. So, in case you haven’t watched other video’s and don’t know the human interaction process.

The HIP happens for every individual whenever we interact with another. We both go through this process multiple times in a conversation. Its automatic, just like breathing. And its unique for each of us just like DNA.

Its a 5 step process we all do, all day long. 1st we sense something, One of our 5 physical senses kicks in. Usually, we see and hear things when communicating, but any sense can trigger an interaction. Then 2, a feeling is triggered. Sometimes very subtle, but there’s always a feeling. Then 3, and usually almost simultaneously with the emotion, a thought process is triggered. From there, we gain intention. We want something to happen and/or we don’t want something to happen. And with that intention, we choose our action or reaction. So before engaging, get self aware. ………………….

What happened. What did you see or hear, or taste or smell, or physically feel, Maybe someone touches you on the shoulder and that triggered the process? Then get clear. How did it make you feel? What are your thoughts about it. What do you want and what don’t you want? And finally, how are you going to choose to act or respond? So now we’re clear on what’s going on for us in this situation.

2. Plan your talk. Write down what happened for you. Write your whole HIP process. Senses, what did you hear and see, how did it make you feel. What are your thoughts and perceptions about it. What do you want and what don’t you want. Then after all this. write down, seek first to understand. You want to quickly find out, once you start the conversation, What is his or her HIP is. and make a bullet list so you remember to ask about each part, when actually doing the tough talk. Write Sense, feel, think, want, don’t want. Take your plan with you to the conversation so you remember to get everything out. But before you do the conversation, run it by a communications mentor. Someone you know that has a track record of navigating difficult conversations to win-win outcomes, so both people feel resolved.

Okay so step 3. When you start the conversation, Make sure your focus is ‘Seek first to understand’ the other person’s HIP about the situation, then to be understood. Its one of Stephen Covey’s 7 habits of highly effective people. To start a conversation, break the ice with something light and common. Once you’ve broken the ice, open the conversation by sharing the first 2 or 3 parts of your HIP. What you saw and heard, how you felt or thought. You might want to share more, and I often do, what you want and don’t want.

Then immediately move into seeking to understand mode. So, make sure you ask them and find out exactly what they saw and heard, how it made them feel, what thoughts it triggered in them, and what they want and don’t want. It’s simple, ask about their HIP.

And remember this very important tip. Don’t expect them to have the same reaction as you. They are a different person with a unique HIP response. What ever it is, its real for them. Don’t negate it or minimalize it. accept it as their reality and valid to them.

This brings me to the next level of seeking first to understand. Why do we want to understand. So the other person feels validated. Do you like to feel like your thoughts and emotions, whatever they are, are valid. Yes or yes. Of course. We all do.

So, take this next level. Seek first to validate and then to be validated. How do we do that? It’s a simple process if you’re asking about each part of their HIP response to the situation at hand. Here’s how it might unfold. So you saw that. Okay, I wasn’t looking that way. I didn’t see that. You did, so its valid. I’m clear. Or . Oh, you heard that. Wow. That’s not what I meant, but I get that’s what you heard. Okay. That’s valid. And so, you felt frustrated and unappreciated. Okay. I get that, I’m not going to take that way from you. Its not what I expected you to feel, but I accept your reaction for you. Its valid for you.

What were your thoughts about the situation. OH. Okay, I understand fully now. that’s valid. I get it. Now, what do you want? Okay. What don’t you want? Okay, I understand that.

So you see, when we ask about their HIP, we get five chances to validate them and actually get them saying yes as we clarify their HIP in that effort to understand. When we seek to understand, we get opportunity not only to validate, we get the other person moving towards a positive frame of mind and heart. Would you agree that getting someone to say yes a few times, in agreement, helps move things in a more positive direction most often? Yes or yes?

If you want to be able to do this HIP stuff on the fly, even in difficult situations, it’s good to practice daily, whenever you think of it, in the spur of the moment. Check in with self. What am I seeing, feeling, thinking, wanting. Right now. And also practice asking about other people’s HIPS when the opportunity presents, and it makes sense. Then, when you see potential conflicts, you’ll find it easier to discuss and process HIPS for each. Practice helps allot. I found it quite awkward at first when I learned it. It took practice to get proficient like anything worthwhile. It quickened the learning, practicing in groups.

Anyway, we get people saying yes at least 4 or 5 times in agreement as we clarify, validate and get things right on their HIP process. So now we’re ready to go to the next step.

4. Look for common intentions. In the full 5 ½ hour CONTACT 20-20 course, we share information on primary and secondary intentions, so that people have more in depth understanding of this common intention process.

So, focus on common intentions and you’ll find resolve, especially when both people have been validated and are both clear on their wants and don’t wants. I will say
at work, its quite easy to get to a common intention focus. Let me show you.

We’re both here because we want to work. We want a job, so we can get paid so we can eat and sleep with a roof over our head. Right, right. There’s a common intention. We both want to keep our job and in order to do that, we have to provide good service to our customer. Right. Right. another common intention.
And I want you to keep this in mind. Everyone has a customer. Sometimes its an internal customer. A co-worker that’s relying on us. Right. Its till a customer that needs to be satisfied.

Okay so we both want to provide good service, so the company stays in business and we keep our job. Yes. Yes. Okay so what happened yesterday hindered that good service process. How do you propose we prevent it in the future. Here’s what I propose.

And remember, workplaces are kind of like dictatorships. In the end, what the boss says, we do. Ideally, we have a good boss who knows how to communicate really well and lead really well. Unfortunately, there’s a lot of leaders out there that aren’t so good at these things. If that’s your situation, you’ll have to lead the tough talks yourself at times. Use the HIP. makes sure they feel understood and validated and find those common intentions. Prepare yourself. Learn all the tips, tricks and shortcuts.
Okay, so the last thing you want to do in difficult situations is. and this is important!

5. Follow up. Check in the next day. Hey, we had a sensitive conversation. How are you feeling about it today after thinking about it? Still the same. My thoughts haven’t changed. Or, you know, after thinking about what we talked about, I think we could do one more thing, or one less thing. What do you think? Following up is critical to relationship maintenance. Do it. Don’t forget. Put it in your calendar if you must, but make sure to do the follow up after any important conversation.

Okay so this has been a real quick short lesson on how to do a tough talk. Let’s recap

1. get self aware. Know your Hip
2. plan your talk be prepared run your plan by your communications mentor.
3. Seek first to understand once you open the conversation. Ask about their Hip
4. Uncover the common intentions to find resolve.
5. Follow up. Check in next day after any important conversation.

There are many more details to consider when wondering how to do a difficult conversation, or a crucial conversation. Effective conversation word choice is key.
In CONTACT 20-20, you get a workbook, listing all the 120+ tools and tips, much more information on what words to use and what words not to use, and in what situations
We talk about Listening skills, body language, tone of voice. We talk about timing too. There’s allot of detail. If you’re already a good communicator. Doing what we tell you in CONTACT 20-20 will make you great.

And, as a FAM member you get it for only $29.95. there’s a discount code inbound welcome emails when you joined. Buy CONTACT 20-20 Training Now

It’s a very small price to pay for a huge investment in you. Its only a little over 5 hours of training. Hone your communication skills as Warren Buffet says. You’ll be worth twice as much as you are right now. All for the cost of a large pizza. What a deal.

There’s no risk. We offer a 30-day money back guarantee so if you’re not happy with the program, ask for your money back. You can’t go wrong. Click the link below now to sign up for CONTACT 20-20, and increase your worth, right now.

Buy CONTACT 20-20 Training Now

Buy CONTACT 20-20 Training Now

HI everyone. welcome to this quick , about 15-16 minute mentoring session from FindAMentor. I’m Mike Garska – the Founder. I’m going to share the two most important things I learned in life, that they don’t teach in school. They are about the Human Interaction Process and the Master key to Riches.

So, when I was in my twenties my wife asked me to take a communications and leadership workshop with her, She was told to take by the Family life Education council where she was a social worker and workshop facilitator. My most important take away from that training was what I call Human interaction process, or HIP. When I heard it, my 1st thought was why didn’t they teach me this in school, and since I’ve been teaching it, I’ve had students say the same thing to me. So, Why is it so important to know it? Because the HIP, the human interaction process affects every part of our life. We are social beings. That’s why. Here’s how I learned it. it was in that communications workshop. the facilitator had us read a book called alive and aware by Sherod Miller and 3 other authors, all phycologists. We had to learn a tool they call the awareness wheel. Its an awareness guide or tool for yourself, and a guide for awareness of others and its key to communicating through any difficult conversation. Its all about authentic self awareness and authentic awareness of others. I was taught, to obtain true self awareness I had to ask my self 5 questions in a wheel type format. 1. What did I just witness? What did I hear and see? 2. What Am I thinking? How do I perceive this situation? 3. What am I feeling? What emotions does this situation trigger in me? 4. What do I want and what don’t I want? What’s my intention? 5. How am I going to choose to respond, react or act? We were taught first to get fully aware of the exact situation that triggered the conflict and then to go around the awareness wheel in our minds, before speaking. What did I see and hear, how do I feel, what do I think about it and what do I want and don’t want. How am I going to respond? We were taught to share all of this with the other person, and at the same time, immediately find out about the other persons, senses, thoughts, emotions, intentions. We did exercises in groups. It really worked. I found this awareness technique for self and others worked in almost any situation to reduce conflict and resolve it. Now, to me, because every person goes through this process every time we communicate, I call this 5 step awareness wheel The Human Interaction Process. What’s your HIP right now. what are you hearing and seeing in this moment. me talking. right. yes. I’m seeing a camera. what do you feel. are you feeling curious? maybe not sure about all this stuff? I’m feeling a desire to share important information that I want you to learn so you can be and do better in life when communicating. I don’t want you to turn off this video. I don’t want you to be bored. What do you want right now? Do you want to learn more? What don’t you want? You probably don’t watch to waste your time. I don’t want you too either. We are both HIP ING all the time — It’s good to be aware, and it’s absolutely needed when situations are tough. So, A few months after learning this process and other tools and techniques on word choice, I found myself in a situation where I had to do a really tough talk with my boss. I was frustrated at work. I was an industrial salesperson. Co-workers were dropping the ball on deals. Customer expectations weren’t being met to my standards. Or sales manager was promoted to GM and we hadn’t had a sales manager for over 3 months. Things were falling through the cracks. I wanted to quit. I started looking for another job. Before I accepted one, I thought I should at least have a talk. I did what I was taught. I prepared. I wrote everything down. I got aware of my HIP and I was determined to find out what his HIP was in this situation. I was scared to do it, but needed a change or I was going to leave. I asked for a meeting. We went for dinner the next night. The conversation took two hours and at the end of it, I got a promotion to sales manager and a raise. I know if I hadn’t taken that course, The conversation would not have gone as well. Now Warren Buffet says. “If you want to be worth 50% more than you are right now, Hone your communication skills.” So do that. Take a difficult conversation communication course. Learn how to do those difficult conversations with confidence. We offer a quick mentoring session on difficult conversations. Watch that video. There’s a link at the bottom here. And you can sign up for our more in depth CONTACT 20-20 on-line course where we give you 120 tools, tips and techniques for navigating difficult crucial conversations using your HIP, and wise word choice, all in a best practice communication process. Take the time to learn CONTACT. You wont regret it. FAM members only pay 29.95, get lifetime access and a 30-day money back guarantee. What other thing can you spend $30 on that can get you a raise and a promotion? It’s the cost of a large pizza. Which one is a better investment for you? A pizza ort a conflict communications course? Remember that we have to invest time and money into ourselves, our skill set if we want to be more valuable to our employees and make more money. Do what Warren buffet says, hone your communication skills. Okay so the second thing I want to share with you that I never learned in school is all about thought and emotion regulation, control and direction and how it affects every aspect of our life and what levels of success we achieve in the different aspects. . Now, our success is immensely affected by how we control our HIP. When I learned the HIP, my immediate thought was, wow, this fits so well with the master key to riches. Its the master key to riches that I learned when I was 16 that I attribute to my successes in life. When I learned it, I actually got angry that they didn’t teach it to me in school. It’s was so important to understand. It should be taught in school as far as I’m concerned. So, I met a man named Ron that taught me about the Master Key to Riches by Napoleon Hill. Ron was my first real mentor to that point in my life, outside of family and extended family. He was a successful real estate agent driving a fancy car with a phone in it. And cell phones weren’t even out yet. It was the 1970’S. It was a old style push to talk, mobile phone and about 1 in every 10000 people had one. I was impressed by his success. I come from a family of 5 kids raised by a single mom working at Sears. We had very little. I wanted more so I wanted to learn more. I asked, he taught. he started by giving me books. the master key to riches by Napoleon Hill was the first. What do you think the Master Key to Riches is? The way Hill wrote the book, I had to read almost the whole thing before he revealed it? There are many other books that write the same thing in different words. Claude Bristol’s, the magic in belief. Josesph murphy’s Your infinite power to be rich, Og Mandino’s, the greatest miracle in the world. BTW, you and I are the greatest miracle in the world. I Wanted to understand more so read those other books, including a few more by Napoleon Hill. MY favorite was Grow rich with peace of mind and that has been a focus of mine since I was 17. Growing rich with peace of mind. I’ll share more about that in another video or mentor blog So what is the master Key to Riches? Well, it actually fits very well into this HIP Concept and taking responsibility for yourself and your responses. And when I learned the awareness wheel, my first thought was. This makes sense. I like it. I can fit this into my philosophy and belief system. its a great tool for helping to control ones thought and emotional patterns to be positive. So Here’s the master key to riches. are you ready. its simple: and unlike Hill, I’m not going to make you read a whole book to hear it. “Whatever the human mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” This is the master key to riches by Napoleon Hill. Whatever you can think about- conceive, and then believe, you can achieve. Just pay the price and take it away. Yes. You have to pay for everything in one way or another in life. And the price for achievement is specific thought and emotional control, combined with emotional persistence, perseverance and tons of other positive thought, emotion, and of course, action. The master key has also been explained as. What we think about, we bring about. it all starts with the power of positive thinking. The law of attraction will bring back what you put out so put out what you want. In the books they talk about different ways to achieve this ‘belief in yourself, so that you can achieve any goal you set out too. They advise using things like, Autosuggestion, repeating positive phrases over and over I used to post sticky notes all around the house and car. One was ‘live in the now’. Another one I used when I started my cell phone business from the trunk of my car, was. I’m selling a phone a day. Selling a phone a day. I actually made a tape that played it over and over that I would listen to as I was driving to sales calls. Eventually, we were selling a phone a day and then then 10 phones a day. We eventually had two of the top five performing stores in the country and hit number one a couple times. Other techniques the books suggested were visualization, feeling like you have it now, writing goals down, etc. Its all about disciplining thought and emotion and action and its all important to do. We have to control our thoughts to control our emotions, intentions and actions. When we consistently see things in a positive and constructive way, and generally feel positive, we can achieve anything, and we attract good things and good people, into our lives. . Sometimes it costs allot, Takes allot of work and effort, but we can do it. I embraced the concept and I’ve witnessed it work many times in my life and others. So to take advantage of the master key to riches, to be successful in any endeavor, you have to take control of your HIP in every situation and create ‘belief’ in yourself. Belief in what you’re doing. Belief that you can achieve your goals. You must control your responses and reactions to be productive and positive so you can build belief. With positive action we get positive outcome, and belief in self builds a bit each time. Does that make sense? Yes or yes. Well, a mentor can help with building belief in yourself too. They make it easier to achieve the little stepping stones that turn into milestones and that all builds belief in yourself and your abilities. That’s why I promote having many Mentors they help us adopt the right thought and emotional processes so we do the right actions for achievement in their area of expertise, so mentors help us take on those thought and emotional processes that build belief and attract success. Remember that emotions are contagious so Learn and catch the positive emotions and thoughts your mentors have. Incorporate them into your character. So, get a mentor. You might be wondering how do I get a mentor for business, or how to find mentors on-line, or how to find a mentor near me. FindAMentor can help you. Okay. let’s recap the two things I didn’t learn in school that have both changed my life dramatically. 1. Know your HIP, seek to understand it in yourself and others. Our HIP affects the strength of every relationship we have. Take our communications training to learn more about how to do that and what words to use and which ones to avoid in difficult conversations. Not knowing your HIP or the other person’s HIP, hinders the communication process and often makes things worse when situations are tense, difficult or sensitive. Knowing the HIPS is key to avoiding and resolving conflict. 2. Believe in yourself and your goals and do whatever it takes to get into that state of mind and state of mind and being, where the belief in yourself and your goals is entrenched in you. Know that our Self talk is as important as our talk to others. How we guide our HIP, our thoughts, emotions, intentions, actions, affect what we believe and attract into our life. It affects our health and our success on every level. Control your self talk to be positive. I had one friend say to me if we talked to others like we talk to ourselves when we’ve not done well at something, at times, we wouldn’t have any friends. People can be very hard on themselves in self talk. Watch out for that. Don’t do it. But, Take responsibility for your thoughts, emotions, intentions and belief in yourself. be responsible for every response you have, for disciplining the right thought and emotional habits for success – for you. I can help, mentors can help, but its up to you to ask for the support and then pay attention to the advice and do it. Take responsibility for your thoughts, emotions, intentions, actions and take control of your success. And remember each person’s HIP is as unique as our DNA. There are 8 billion different HIPS happening right now on this planet. Don’t expect others to respond like you do to any situation. The most important communication tip I can give you is to seek to understand first, then to be understood. It comes from Stephen Covey’s “7 habits of highly effective people.” There are 120 more tips and tools for best practice communicating in CONTACT 20-20. Start with our free communications training mentor session. And, Watch the other videos as they come out too. I’ll continue to give you tips and tools that will propel your success and your ability to believe in yourself, so that you can achieve anything. You’ll get more communications tips and eventually learn to communicate through any difficult conversation with the confidence of driving it to a win-win outcome. Sign up for our daily inspirational emails as well to keep yourself motivated every day. Thank you for watching. Go make it an awesome day.

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